Episode Transcript

How to Become an Unshakable Optimist with Lucy Liu

EPISODE 32

[INTRODUCTION]

[00:00:08] BS: Hi there, you’re listening to Love Your Enthusiasm, a show where creators, teachers, and explorers talk about what makes them tick and how they make space to pursue their greatest passion. I’m your host, Britt Skrabanek, and today I have the pleasure of introducing you to Lucy Liu, who is a life coach and podcast host of The Lucy Liu Show. Not to be confused with Lucy Liu, the actress which of course she gets all the time, and she will tell you that crazy story on the show.

Also, in the episode, Lucy talks about being an unshakable optimist who is on a mission to inspire hope, optimism, and joy. Lucy covers everything from choosing your priorities, versus chasing them, and helpful ways to overcome limiting beliefs and change your mindset.

Love Your Enthusiasm has officially transitioned to a monthly newsletter, so email subscribers will now see one glorious email roundup of the latest episodes. Less crowded inbox equals good, right?

You can subscribe to the newsletter at loveyourenthusiasm.com. And if you are eager to receive new episodes, right when they release, subscribe on your listening app of choice. Also, the Love Your Enthusiasm social channels are a great place to stay in the loop. Okay, something I never thought I would say on this show, “wink wink”, here’s Lucy Liu.

[EPISODE]

[00:01:45] BS: Lucy, welcome to the show.

[00:01:48] LL: I’m so honored to be here, Britt. Thanks for having me.

[00:01:51] BS: I am so excited to talk to you. This is a brand-new year, 2021, and we are going to be talking about so many inspiring things today. First, I have to mention your name is Lucy Liu, and you are the actress, Lucy Liu, in case anyone is listening to this podcast because they think I have the actress, Lucy Liu, and this is a very different Lucy Liu.

[00:02:20] LL: Hello everyone. This is Lucy Liu.

[00:02:24] BS: So, Lucy, do you get this a lot? I mean, obviously once people see you, they’re like, “Okay, you’re not that Lucy Liu, you’re another one.”

[00:02:36] LL: How many hours do we have to talk about this?

[00:02:41] BS: It’s got to be pretty constant. It’s funny because everybody has –there’s always something that happens with your name, like my name is Brittney, but I go by Britt. But it’s amazing how many people don’t get either of those, just even when I say them, especially if I say Britt, a lot of people call me Bert, or Birdie. And I get all these like weird things all the time.

So, everybody, it doesn’t matter what your name is, you end up having to deal with people never really getting your name right. But you have the association with a famous actress, which is just like a whole another story.

[00:03:15] LL: Yeah, that’s on a whole another level especially I’m in Los Angeles and I grew up near Hollywood. So, I actually took acting lessons when I was very young and I went to many auditions for commercials and for short films. And you know, I never got a single role because every time I went to an audition, the casting director would like run out of their office and be, “Oh my god, Lucy Liu on my list. Lucy Liu is on my list.” And they go to the lobby and they see me they’re like, “Oh, not the Lucy Liu.”

So, I pretty much was like crushed to the floor many, many times. And now people come to me for coaching, for confidence, and when I look back on my life, it was those constant crushing of confidence that actually built up my confidence in the long run that helped me live a life full of confidence. So, yes, in that terms, this problem used to hinder me a lot because we know the amazing Julia Roberts, right? There cannot be another Julia Roberts in the world. So, that’s kind of the mentality that I grew up with, like, “I’m not the Lucy Liu. I’ll just be nobody. I’ll just be one of the million Lucy Liu’s out there and now just live my life and just wait until the day I die and I’m just going to be nobody.” And that’s kind of like my mindset at one point, which made life kind of boring for me until I started coaching and realized that this is my life. This is my story. And I can use this story to inspire others, because everyone, to some extent, have a problem with their names, whether it’s too hard to pronounce, too long to write out, and even when people have like easy names.

I’ve talked to a podcast host, who had a very, very common name like, Mary Smith or something like that. And she actually said that her PayPal account was frozen, because someone else in the same name was doing illegal activities, and they pretty much froze a bunch of accounts in the same name. So, no matter what name you have, pretty much you can have a story around that and stories build our life. And we all have so many stories to tell. What you do with that story, pretty much determines your life, because life is full of circumstances. And really, these circumstances are actually neutral, because we get to put a positive or a negative in front of that story and that makes up your entire life.

[00:06:08] BS: On to what we’re talking about today, which is your passion for hope, optimism, and joy. So, Lucy, Lucy Liu, why are you on a mission to inspire hope, optimism, and joy?

[00:06:24] LL: I always say when I’m on a call, or you know, presentation, I always say, “Hey, this is Lucy Lou. I’m not the Lucy Liu, but I hope I am the Lucy Liu, you’re going to remember for the rest of your life because I’m here to inspire hope, confidence, and happiness and all things optimistic.” Because I believe these are the pillars in my life, that’s building a foundation for a thriving life. Surviving, is the basic of living, right? We all survive, but that’s not enough. That’s not fun, right?

At some point, you’re going to have these low days, and especially like 2020, we have anxieties, stress, and these pillars. If you build the foundation right, they’re going to carry you through any stressful lower moments because these were my pillars, that always drives me forward. Even when I’m in a dark tunnel, I cannot see behind the next bend, but I absolutely believe there is light at the end of the tunnel, because I have these pillars, these foundations in place. And that’s what I love to do is to help others build those foundations for their life, that’s by their design, so that they can feel purposeful and fulfilled.

[00:08:01] BS: I’d love to talk a little bit about optimism, because I feel like this is one of those words that I haven’t heard in a long time. And I love that you use it and that you really stand by it and you even call yourself an unshakable optimist. Can you talk a little bit about what your definition of optimism is? Because I think a lot of people might, I don’t want to say roll their eyes at the word or just not believe in it, but I know that you do. So, what is optimism? What does that mean to you?

[00:08:32] LL: Oh, absolutely. I mean, it takes work to get here. I’ve had my low days. And it took me decades of personal development to get to where I am. I personally transformed my own life from feeling overstressed, unhappy, and unhealthy at one point, to now living my life of true joy, fulfillment, and mindfulness, and optimism, right? So, it does take work. If you are rolling your eyes at me, that’s fine. Because maybe you’re in the beginning of your journey, or you’re in the rut because of something that’s happened to you.

However, this is what I tell my clients, I am going to be blunt with you. I’m not here to make you like me, but I am here to tell you the truth and I’m going to inspire you to make that change. Because if you want different results, you have to do things differently. You can’t expect to have a different life if you’re living your life the same every day. I have made many bold moves in life to create this more aligned and fulfilled life and it does take work. So, optimism, it could be so many things. It could be a verb, it could be an adjective, it could be a noun, it depends on how you look at it. And for me, it’s my choice of living.

So, I am an optimist, unshakable optimist, that doesn’t mean life don’t happen to me, that doesn’t mean I don’t have any problems. Trust me, we all have problems because we’re human. And you’re going to get rocks thrown at and that’s just the way of life. That’s just reality of life. But you get choices. How you react is your choice. For example, if when we are getting these rocks thrown at you, you see these rocks as boulders in your way or do you see these rocks as the pebbles that are helping you pave the exact path to your success and happiness?

So, to me, optimist means I am going to be, I choose to be, intentionally, purposely to be that person that always will choose the little pebbles. I choose to believe that problems arise, circumstances arise, these are the pebbles that are helping me. So, when you have that mentality, you see things from a different perspective and therefore, I’m looking for opportunities. I’m looking for the positive side of a negative situation. So, I’m able to turn those different perspectives around and because when you have this little flicker of hope in life, it can catapult you to great places, maybe even without you knowing it right now. But it’s happening for you. And every amazing woman I meet, they have really a story. I’m like, “Wow, they went through that?” Because the darker you have been, the more light you’re going to see, because of that contrast.

On my low days, I say I’m an unshakable optimist, but yes, there has been days where I was completely shaken up. But because I know that’s not me, I’m like, “I am the unshakable optimist.” I know, the shaken-up version is not really me. That’s not my choice. So, then I’m going to pull out my toolbox, I’m going to use my tools, I’m going to refer to what fills my cup, and what feels everyone’s cup is different. I need to know what fills my cup. So, I do that. And I would get back to the unshakable version of me, like talking to you, Brit, that fills my cup.

[00:12:53] BS: I feel honored. Thank you. Unshakable optimism. I want to talk a little bit about 2020 because it’s a new year now and so much of our optimism was shaken up, all of us. And I was curious if you had to adapt to new tools and methodologies in 2020 to overcome some of these challenges, and also help your clients overcome them. Because we saw things that we never thought we would see in our lives. And even if you have a practice of mindfulness, and you have all of these great tools that you can turn to, I felt like personally, that I also had to really step up my game to be able to make it through the year.

[00:13:51] LL: Absolutely. In the time of uncertainty, you know, the only thing is certain in a time of uncertainty is still uncertainty. The most frequently asked question I think I got was, you know, things are crazy, how are you doing? I think we all got that question from someone.

[00:14:13] BS: Oh, yeah.

[00:14:15] LL: No matter how I felt, no matter what I was going through for the entire 2020, when someone asked me that question, I always answered, “I am thriving.” Okay. While considering outside circumstances. It is the truth I knew, because that’s a different perspective. There are always people doing worse than me. So, I am thriving. I’m not in the hospital. I am so thankful I am thriving. So, it’s the foundation. Like I said, optimism is the foundation of my life. And was I anxious when the pandemic was declared? Absolutely. Do I have those moments of chronic worrying? You bet. But I intentionally choose to very quickly turn those fears into the momentum I need to continue through my goals. Yes, you have these practices, of course, meditation, journaling, my non-negotiables, like my warm breakfast, I eat three meals on time, you have to attend to your own non-negotiables first before you can – we all want to love, we want to be loved by others, we want others to love us. But you’ve got to love yourself first. You got to attend to your non-negotiables first before you can do anything else.

So, I did have a routine that was very helpful, but of course, have to be flexible in terms of changing things up because of all the things that’s happening. But my mindset was in place. I still have these pillars, my confidence. Confidence comes in. I choose to be confident, no matter how uncertain I am about the future and we’re all in this together. So, everything’s going to be fine. I have my optimism pillar that I believe 2020 will be over. 2021 is here before we know it. And joy, that’s my third pillar, because I’m going to do what makes me joyful. When things are hard, I attend my non-negotiables. For example, Friday night used to be movie night for me. And in 2020, I made that Friday and Saturday. I need more comedy. I need more movie nights, right?

[00:16:50] BS: Yeah, I did the same thing.

[00:16:52] LL: So, whatever feels your cup. Like I said, I always make my clients make a list of joyful activities. What brings you joy, for some that might look like exercising? For me, it was outdoors. I went pretty much hiking or to the park every single day with my husband and daughter, because we needed that. And if that fills our cup, we have to do it, because it’s important for our mental health to be healthy. It’s not just healthy on the physical level. But in 2020, obviously, you have to do what fills your cup, and you have to know your priorities and know your values. What do you value? And I think when we go through a pandemic, we become more clear of our values. For me, that was my family and health. So, I attend those things first.

And when you have these values and priorities clear, it’s so easy to set boundaries. I said no to all my friends who asked me to meet up. I’m sorry, I live with my family. I don’t want to put them in danger. So, I minimize that. So, you learn to have boundaries, and that boundary becomes natural. It’s not hard for me to say no, because it’s a natural no, because it’s not my value and priority, because we can only do so much. And you actually have to choose your values in priority in order to keep those positive attitudes. Don’t try to be someone you’re not online or offline. I don’t try to impress others. I tell the truth, whether you like me or not, but hey, just in 2020, if you survived Zoom calls and having kids at home, you are amazing.

[00:18:55] BS: Yeah, you deserve an award.

[00:18:59] LL: Your kids are live, oh my gosh, you’re the best mom. So, I love the name of your show, by the way, because I really want to be enthusiastic regarding everything you do. Because so what if you’re only watering your plants in the backyard, wholeheartedly devote yourself to your plants, and I think you’re making –

[00:19:23] BS: Get in there. Go after it.

[00:19:28] LL: I teach my daughter, oh, I don’t like to water plants, but she likes to grow them. Okay, then I’m like, “You’ve got to talk to your plants. Say I love you. You want to do it, then you really have to make that contribution.” So, what if you’re running back and forth between your kiddo’s laptop and your own laptop and we’ve all done that in 2020. So, you are incredible. Yeah, when you have this positive mindset and attitude, opportunities just come up. I’ve made this conscious decision each morning when I wake up, I want to radiate positivity and not to let go of opportunities, I don’t have to be chasing them. But if I see them with an open mind, and with open ears and eyes, those opportunities will come.

[00:20:23] BS: A couple of things that you mentioned are perfect for the next discussion I would like to have which is about time management. So, you talked about choosing priorities and then you also talked about chasing opportunities and this really all just plays into this culture of busyness that a lot of us fall into. You run a business, I run a business, I’m sure a lot of the women you work with are juggling lots of things as well. Can you talk about time management strategies that are working well for you personally?

[00:20:55] LL: Absolutely. Something I developed with my clients on our first call would be a dream life calendar. Instead of looking at your schedule, and thinking you’ve got way too much on your plate, because we all do, no matter you’re single, you’re married, you have one kid, you have five kids, everyone’s going to say they’re too busy, right? And that’s because you’re not living the life you dream of.

So, the work I start with my clients always starts with their dream life. You got to know how your dream life look like. And a lot of times that comes up, they would say, “Oh, I want to make time for art. I want to read.” Well, then they got to be on your calendar. Whatever you want in life, it’s got to be on your calendar. If it’s not, it’s probably not going to get there. If you say I want to read, if you don’t make time, if all your Google Calendar alerts are for work only, then how are you going to ever have time for the things you actually want to do.

So, like I said, those priorities will play a big part in how you manage your time. You have to know your values and priorities, so my values and priorities are my family. So, instead of work schedule, my family got to be on my calendar first. I eat my three meals on time. Eating because as entrepreneurs, you forget to eat. I schedule my lunch times on my calendar, before I schedule anything else. So, these are the basics of how you start your calendar and not the other way around, because if you feel your whole calendar up with activities, then sometimes you look back and you find you don’t have time to do what you want to do. And that’s going to stress you out and lead to burnout. And nope, nobody wants burnout.

[00:22:55] BS: Burnout sucks.

[00:22:58] LL: No, we don’t want that.

[00:23:02] BS: Okay, so that’s really interesting talking about your calendar that way, because I hadn’t thought about that and I’m thinking about my calendar right now. And it is exactly focused on all of the meetings that I need to handle for my other business, which is super neat marketing, because that is my biggest priority. As far as a business that I’ve been running for several years, that pays the bills, and that is where a lot of my energy goes. And then there’s this podcast that I started in June of 2020, that has been filled into the available nooks and crannies of my schedule without being on my schedule. And what happens is there’s this push and pull all the time between the two businesses, because one is established and paying the bills, whereas the other one is just getting started, but also requires a lot of time.

So, that’s interesting that you talked about making dedicated time on the calendar because otherwise it is very difficult and you can feel like you’re running around like a crazy person trying to do it all.

[00:24:20] LL: Yeah, the funny thing is, you would think by sticking to your own rules, you’re going to lose customers, because sometimes we’re afraid. “Oh, what if I say no?” We have these internal dialogues, we all do, we’re human, that this little voice that’s going to scare ourselves. I was working through this calendar with one of my clients and and she drafted up the dream calendar and one of her clients asked her to finish a project early and because we did the work, she told that client she said, “I’m sorry, I had your project scheduled for next week. So, I’m not there yet.” And she was scared. She was like, “Oh my gosh, am I going to lose this client?” But it turns out that client was like, “Wow, you’re so organized.” And the client actually decided to work more with her. So, we usually gave ourselves too much pressure.

[00:25:28] BS: Definitely.

[00:25:32] LL: That’s unnecessary.

[00:25:36] BS: Correct. Okay, so another thing I would love to get your opinion about, because you already talked about saying no, as a way of protecting your family, when people were inviting you to do things during the coronavirus and I’d love to know what your perspective is on saying no, as a way to protect your time.

[00:25:59] LL: Absolutely. I think when you have your roles, and when you have your dream calendar, when you know what you want in life, when you have all this clarity, the no is automatic, that it doesn’t really become a big decision anymore. Like for me, I have rules, who do I accept us friends on Facebook? Who do I talk to? Who do I accept or decline on Instagram? So, when I have these rules, then no is automatic. I don’t talk to strange men, period. So, I don’t accept any male friend requests. Like in life, when you have your rules when you have your priorities and rule set, that’s the foundation work, like I talked about. It’s these foundations. When you have these foundations and clarities, the no is so automatic that it’s not about easy or hard to say. And that was just an example of how I say no, it’s just an automatic no. And when you have your priority set that no becomes also an automatic.

Saturdays, I go out with my family. Work schedules, it’s always a no. I don’t do any calls on the weekends. I don’t have any – well, once in a while, if I’m speaker on a summit, I do them on Sundays. I mean Saturdays, and I don’t do any calls of any type on Sundays, period. So, when I set my rules, the noes are never hard. They’re automatic.

[00:27:44] BS: That’s a good call. And I think a lot of us struggle with saying no, because like you said, we just haven’t set up any rules. And it does make it a lot harder when you don’t have those boundaries in place. Because you feel like you need to say yes to more things, because you don’t you don’t even really know what to want kind of.

[00:28:05] LL: Exactly. If you know what you want, you should know the answer. And that’s why it’s very important to to have clarity. You don’t want to be living in this constant place of fog, who wants to live in a foggy place like all the time? No, we want to see the sunshine. We want to see clear skies. So, it’s important to be clear on what you want. And sometimes that at times of life, I think that that was me too. At one point, I think the biggest fear for me was fear of death. I think that has nothing to do with what we’re talking about right now. But finally, after decades of personal development, I overcame it by finding my life purpose.

See, when I’m talking to you, or when I’m talking to my clients, when I’m doing the work I’m doing, it energizes me, I feel alive. And I feel like that the world needs more alive people. When you’re making a decision, I think you have to think about does it excite you? Does it really make you feel alive, right? That drives enthusiasm to wake up and have fun along the way, because if you’re just chasing, trying to get to the mountain peak, that’s going to be filled with struggles. It’s not fun, but you have to focus on, if you’re having fun mountain hiking, then no matter if you take a wrong turn or you know if you’re still not at the top, it doesn’t really matter because you’re enjoying the journey and that’s the beauty of life.

[00:29:58] BS: Lucy, can you talk about something you learned, that cause you to think about your enthusiasm in a completely different way?

[00:30:07] LL: Absolutely. I think what I talked about was my fear of death. And that that came up again, when I wanted to start my coaching business because I love helping other women, like making money doesn’t excite me. So, even though I was a completely in a different major, I majored in economics, and I was in finance, and I worked on my husband’s business, family business. So, all these things, I felt like I was in it for the money. I wanted to be a financial planner, because I see all my managers making millions of dollars. And when it’s money driven, I feel like the hustle only leaves you so far. It’s really the deeper meaning of life, that really would bring out the enthusiasm in your life. And don’t get me wrong, I know people who are really enthusiastic about their nine to five.

So, it’s not that you have to be doing something completely strange or different in order to be that enthusiastic person. But it’s just a matter of what brings you excitement.

[00:31:34] BS: Exactly. Running a business isn’t for everybody and it’s really fucking hard too, I will say, after having left a salary job several years back, I guess it’s been almost four years now, it was a very difficult decision to make, and rightly so because leaving that air “security”, and also, I mean, it’s a steady paycheck. And when you say goodbye to that, there’s a transitional period, and the first year of running my business full time without a salary to fall back on was scary. It was really scary. If you don’t have any financial prowess, you have to learn it if you’re going to run a business.

So, it’s good that you have that background. Because even though that wasn’t the world that you wanted to live in, especially because your entire world was revolving around finance, those are all very helpful skills as you’re running a business. And for people who are happy in their nine to five, and they’re enthusiastic about it. Awesome. But if you’re not, you need to evaluate what you’re doing. Because I was one of those people that was never satisfied with a steady paycheck.

For women going through life transitions, what are the most common challenges you help them overcome?

[00:32:54] LL: I would have to say, number one, is self-doubt and fear. They’re tied. They have a tie. Self-limiting beliefs and we all have so many of these. We have this little voice inside of ourselves, talking us out of things and making us doubt ourselves. And usually, it’s self-imposed.

So, for example, I saw someone drowning in front of me when I was five years old. And so, I couldn’t swim for years and years of my life. After about a year, I became a life coach, I realized that if I was helping my clients overcome their fears every day, I really need to be talking the talk and really actually walk the walk and break my own fears. So, I always try to list down the things that I can do to better myself. I’m constantly growing myself. So, one day when my daughter asked me to put down my head and swim with her. I just did it. After 30 something years of not being able to swim. I did it. So, the mindset is so powerful that it is a moment to moment shift. It only takes one true decision. And especially in 2020, people were getting laid off, my clients, when they go through a pandemic, they realize they’re not living the life that they dreamt off because they always had this idea of them wanting to do something or starting that business and it’s this fear that has been there for 10 years sometimes, that’s hindering them and what hinders you? What’s blocking you could be the exact thing that you actually need to get started, or it’s exactly what you need at this moment that you’re fearing.

So, I would definitely say fear and limiting beliefs. And yeah, it’s okay to have them. And even until I think last year – okay, so I had this problem with my name and my other limiting belief was that being the daughter of an immigrant, my English isn’t good enough/ I still think so sometimes, that little voice comes up sometimes, but I always had this thought that even though I graduated from UCLA, my English isn’t good enough.

I actually decided to shatter my limiting beliefs and that’s why I launched my podcast, just calling it The Lucy Liu Show. I am unique. I am somebody. You have to say these affirmations to yourself. And what I used to say, as even if I only help the life of one listener, I have done a positive contribution to a better world.

[00:36:02] BS: A couple of things I want to say, number one, your English is fantastic. And I am a writer who allegedly has some sort of mastery of the English language at this point in the game, and I can say this, that English is a ridiculous language. So, I respect anyone, especially when English is not their native language that learns it and rocks it and you’re one of those people. So, you’re great.

Number two, I want to go back to something you said about the women you work with, how 2020 taught them that they were unhappy with the path that they were following. It was the one that they thought they needed to follow but they really had these other dreams that they wanted to pursue. And I’ve heard that from a lot of people. I think it comes back to this false sense of security that a lot of us have with going back to just as an example, because this is a pretty straightforward one, a lot of people can relate to, with having a steady paycheck, and having a job that is a nine to five. And I first had my whole vision of a salary job being that secure place, crumble before me when I got laid off once. And it was completely unexpected. And that actually led me to becoming a marketing consultant, and eventually starting my own business.

I did talk to somebody once and he was actually my boss at a later job that said, “Getting laid off is one of the best things that will ever happen to you.” And I was like, “Really?” I just didn’t believe him because I was so upset after I got laid off. And I just couldn’t believe that it happened and I will never forget him saying that. And it actually ended up being true because it led to one business and eventually another.

[00:38:08] LL: That’s absolutely true. I’ve met so many people who catapulted their business and grew, because they were laid off. But if you have the security from your job, you’re not going all in, in your business and that becomes another hindrance.

[00:38:27] BS: Totally, because you have that thing to fall back on. So, you are kind of like working on the other thing here and there but you’re not going all in because you just have one foot in, one foot out.

Limiting beliefs is something you talked about. And I feel like this is becoming a bit of a buzz phrase. I was wondering if you could talk a little bit more about limiting beliefs, how they affect us and what your recommendations are for changing that mindset?

[00:39:01] LL: Absolutely, because limiting beliefs, we all have them, right? We have about 70,000 thoughts a day. And unfortunately, like 80% of them are negative or repetitive. So, if you’re repeating these limiting beliefs to yourself, imagine the power it has on pushing you down in life.

Okay, mindset is really powerful. You’ve got to remember that and you don’t have to wait until you have a catastrophic event in your life that’s going to pull you and force you. Unfortunately, that’s usually the case that helps you make that change faster, but you can always try to be more aware of your thoughts. You can start listening to that little voice. What is it saying? And you notice what are those little voices saying and then use start shutting it down. The next time you see yourself talking to yourself in a negative way that you wouldn’t say, we say things to ourselves that we would never say to others. You would never be that mean to others –

[00:40:18] BS: I know. We are so mean to ourselves. It’s ridiculous. It’s true.

[00:40:23] LL: We’re the biggest mean girls on the planet. So, really be aware of every little thought. And once you have that awareness, you’re going to really start seeing more of those thoughts. You’re like, “Oh, I just said that again.” And it’s okay in the beginning, but you try to shush it like a puppy.

One way is that you can even give it a puppy name, and then think of that thought as a little cute Chihuahua, or whatever dog you feel is cute, and you just try to pet it and calm it down. Okay, “Hey, you’re cute. I noticed you. But ssshhh, that’s okay. I’m not going to listen to you.” So, that’s one technique to use and another one is just to simply opposite. Once you notice, you’re saying to yourself, for example, “Oh, this is too hard. I can’t do it.” Just do the complete opposite. Say it out loud, “This is easy. I can easily do this. It’s going to be done.” You got to really opposite that.

[00:41:31] BS: I didn’t realize I was doing internal pep talks with myself until I think within the past year, I started realizing they can’t even like whisper this aloud, which doesn’t really matter since I work from home. But I started saying, “It’s okay, you’ve got this.” And it is the most simple thing ever, but whenever I’m feeling negative, or I feel like I can’t do something, that works really well.

[00:42:01] LL: Yeah, absolutely. We talked about mindset, we talked about these things, but really, once you get in the habit of it, it becomes your lifestyle. It’s just not a mindset anymore. It’s completely a different lifestyle, because a as the old famous saying goes, I don’t know by who, “Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. And watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

[00:42:39] BS: I like that. I don’t know who said it either. But that’s that’s brilliant.

[00:42:44] LL: So, what are you telling yourself? Are you putting yourself down? Or are you giving yourself the pep talk?

[00:42:52] BS: Pep talks are good. I’m a fan. On Instagram, Lucy, I saw that you shared a really cool quote that I’m pretty sure you came up with, correct me if I’m wrong.

[00:43:04] LL: Yeah, I’m going to correct you. I can’t take credit, but I don’t know who it’s by.

[00:43:08] BS: Okay, so this is a non-misquote that you shared then. I loved it, though, “Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.” And such a beautiful quote and because I always ask every guest about failure or rejection, I have to ask you which failure was your greatest lesson?

[00:43:30] LL: I have so many failures.

[00:43:31] BS: Me too.

[00:43:35] LL: Seriously? But this is what I teach, failures are events. Failures are not an adjective to describe a person. So, I can fail many times and they’re just lessons for me. But I’m never a failure and I will never be. So, it’s important to know that failures are just simple events. And failures are, you know, failures if you stop. For example, if you have to ask me for my biggest failure that would be to start a restaurant. I failed at starting a restaurant. I knew nothing about it. I just thought it was cool to have one and I did not work with anyone that had experience. So, it was a complete failure and I decided to stop it.

So, it’s only a failure if it stopped. But if you’re still doing it, if you’re still working on your business, if it’s not working out yet, it’s a it hasn’t failed yet. So, that’s what I look at failures. They are lessons in life and because of those failures, that’s where you might be catapulted into greater heights.

[00:44:49] BS: Lucy, as we’re wrapping up this conversation that I don’t really want to end, I would love for you to leave some lasting advice if you met someone who was struggling with adjusting their mindset. What would you say to offer support?

[00:45:05] LL: Oh my gosh, there’s so many advices I want to give. But maybe I just picked two. First of all, focus, focus, focus, because what you focus on growth. Don’t focus on what you don’t want in life because you don’t want to focus on negatives. Focus on what you actually want. Focus on your goals and your steps to get there. So, focus on what resources you already have and what resources you can get, what kind of help you can get to reach your next milestone. So, focus on the abundance of opportunities out there. And by that more abundance and blessings will come.

And two, I always say this, absolutely believe there is a way. You’ve got to have unshakable optimist. It might be hard for you at some point, but you have to build that foundation to trust because when you have that kind of trust in mind, you’re elevating your mindset and energy in a way that I will attract more desired results right to you.

[00:46:13] BS: Awesome, can you let the listeners know how they can stay in touch, stay connected, and find more info about you?

[00:46:21] LL: Absolutely. Come check out my website, lucyliucoaching.com. I’m very active on Instagram, @mslucyliu, and I actually have the same handle across all social media platforms. And tune in to my weekly podcast, The Lucy Liu Show, which is a fueling station for your mind, business and life.

[00:46:47] BS: Awesome. And I have listened to a recent episode of yours and I personally enjoyed it. I will leave links to your website and your social media channels in the show notes for the listeners. So, you can just jump over to the website to find all of that.

Lucy, I really appreciate your time today. It was so fun and inspiring.

[00:47:08] LL: Thank you for having me and to all the beautiful souls tuning in. Thank you.

[END OF EPISODE]

[00:47:17] BS: For those of you who are non-Apple podcast listeners, another way you can leave a review for Love Your Enthusiasm is on Facebook. Much love to Jessica Korteman who left this wonderful review. “I look forward to listening to this podcast each and every week. The guests are always interesting and Britt is an extremely talented host who asks the best questions. I feel like I not only learn about the inspiring stories of the guests, but something about myself or a new and profound learning that ends up becoming a new way of thinking and adds to my self-improvement toolkit. The solo shows are also extremely illuminating. Britt is an author and storyteller at heart, and you can tell. Give me more.”

Thank you, Jess, that was a hard one to read. A lot of third person happening in there. Jess is one of my favorite humans. She actually kicked off this entire podcast as episode one when she talked about overcoming solo travel stereotypes. Be sure to check that out in the archives. If you haven’t yet, take a sec to leave a review on Facebook at Love Your Enthusiasm or Apple podcasts as it truly does matter for the show. Thanks, everyone. Until next time

[END]

A podcast where creators, teachers, and explorers inspire you to follow your greatest passion.

Get the latest episodes delivered straight to your inbox

By entering your email address and clicking “subscribe” you agree to our privacy policy.